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June 7, 2020

Riot Gear, Body Armor, and Protest Protection Ideas

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These valuable insights have been brought to you by Ragebrew

If you are willing to shell out the big bucks? Motocross Armor. Take a suit of that, and get thick foam padding. Line the interior with thick padding and duct tape. LOADS of duct tape. Trim the sharp exterior with a thin layer of foam padding, so cops don’t cut their hands on the edges.

By Motocross armor, I mean a FULL SUIT. Arms, shoulders, chest, abdomen, crotch, legs. Everything. You can make do with just a full chest plate and helmet (Protect internal organs and brain, ALWAYS) but if you don’t want to get mega bruises, you want full body layering

Function over form. We don’t have the bad ass sci-fi look, because function over form. You need something to keep your body intact, not to look awesome

That’s what sharpies and colored duct tape is for. Be bright, be eye catching. If you are wearing armor, you are INSTANTLY a target no matter what you color it. Might as well be even more a target, so those without don’t take a hit you can endure. PADDING. You want as much padding as you can endure underneath the armor. The plating turns a small area into a big area for force to disperse over. PADDING absorbs the blow.

If you are willing to downgrade, you can easily turn a typical rain barrel and gym mat into effective armor. You just need shears to cut it, a hand rivet kit to keep the plates together, and plenty of time. Go for the old Roman look, layered strips held in place with rivets. A standard bucket + clear plastic sheet + Foam padding = Helmet. Shield, you need a shield. 2fx4f PVC frame. Thicker the PVC the better. Wrap PVC in duct tape. This prevents shattering. Cover PVC piping in foam pool noodle, this prevents shattering and negates possible harm from hitting the rim. LAYER as much duct tape across the empty middle. 20 layers is a good number, maybe some foam padding as well between the duct tape. Put a handle in the center of mass for the shield. DO. NOT. STRAP IT. You want to be able to drop it if the hands start coming for you.

Surplus military NBC masks are the best things to get. However, getting them isn’t easy now. Call up your local military surplus stores, and ask if they have any in stock. You will be asked “Are you police or a veteran.” DO. NOT. LIE. Tell them the truth, and add “But my veteran friend told me to stop using shitty N95 masks to prevent Corona exposure. Told me the best thing was an NBC mask, and to check you guys for one, and some filters.” Make them think you are getting one JUST for that B for biological, and you want the best possible protection. Do not mention the protests, outside of a seeming insult towards it. “Yeah, fuck those guys, I just don’t want to get lung rot, not dancing in tear gas…” Be POLITE. Sir or Ma’am as needed, make it seem like you are just some little Karen or Kyle, just wanting to protect your lungs from the plague.

Spread it around NOW!, share with everyone you know who needs armor. Hell, get a workshop going to pump out shields. Call motocross stores, and tell them to open ASAP!

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